Of course, there are many different kinds of love. And I am aware of that. I have love for my parents, for Cristiano Ronaldo, for music, and so on. Love is a single word, a word however, that has been used differently by people around the world, becoming to convey a wide spectrum of meanings.
To me, however, the word love is used in its truest form when it refers to the deep, true affection between a man and a woman(I do not mean to be discriminate – I am writing in convenience’s sake). When I finally got to say “I love you” to a woman, it meant something different from saying “I love you” to my parents or my relatives. I wouldn’t say that the feeling expressed is necessarily deeper, but simply different. Although the different kinds of loves probably and most likely branch from a common source, they are different in their nature in some other ways than their depths.
To me, love came without warning. I was not looking for or expecting it. But when it did come, I was certain of it. In the midst of all the uncertainties in my life, it was one thing I was able to lean on.
Over the last few months, I have realized something about love. Being a 19 year-old college freshman, I might be totally mistaken. The experiences I will have in the future might confirm my realizations or tell me otherwise. Nevertheless, I wanted to share and note my realization while it still was fresh.
Love is not to be chosen.
I have many girl friends around me who have been, and are, comparing numerous boys they are “interested” in, trying to decide which one’s the most worthy of their love and title as their boyfriend. To me, it doesn’t even make sense that one can be “interested” in more than one person at a time. Given that one can be, and is interested in more than one person at a time, my obvious conclusion is that the person who’s interested in multiple persons is not worthy of anyone’s love. The dissociation of dedication and true love cannot happen.
It is the difference in the way we perceive love that causes this. To me, love is not something to be chosen. You love someone simply because you do. You don’t “love” person A over person B because person A is taller and has a car while person B doesn’t although he or she is still kinda cute. One’s love is not a commercial product. Comparing the specs of iPhone and Galaxy S4 in an attempt to choose the better phone is completely fine. But by comparing the traits of numerous persons in trying to choose one’s love is not okay. It implies nothing but the fact that to that individual, love is nothing but a commercial product to be replaced when a “newer, better” product is introduced.
When love came to me, she was different from the girl I had pictured all my life. She was from a different country, even. But I love everything about her. Everything. I don’t love her because of reason A or B, but simply because I do. Because she is my love.
If one does not treat one’s endeavors as acts of love, but simply as an extension “loveless intimacy,” I don’t care what he or she does, if such things exist at all. Such situations, if they do exist at all, can only occur given that the person trying to choose “the love” openly acknowledges his or her lack of dedication and love to all the persons of “interest, which, I find to be uncommon or nonexistent occurrence.
But if one does speak of true love while trying to choose who’s better, I only hope that the future experiences teach otherwise.